tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88606223534353218352024-03-05T02:34:30.140-08:00Titus2MentoringMelodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-6037039812199894322016-08-27T13:48:00.000-07:002016-08-27T14:01:12.884-07:00What infertility is teaching me grief<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know a good while ago (back in February I believe) I made a blog post about the struggles I have experienced after finding out in September 2015, why my husband and I have not been conceiving for the last 5 years. I know its not just me, my husband and I then and still go through out momentary bouts of grief. Often times it was away from each other. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://fwee.org/wp-content/uploads/grand-coulee-320x210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://fwee.org/wp-content/uploads/grand-coulee-320x210.jpg" /></a>I discovered for the first time in my marriage that my husband grieves in a completely different manner to me. And Im sure he had the same experience with me. To use a metaphor, I felt like his grief was like watching a river that is normally energetic and vibrant being dammed up. I've seen dams, in 2014 we took a roadtrip to Eastern Washington and we stopped at the Grand Coulee Dam (which channels the water of the gigantic Columbia river that runs from British Columbia, through Washington then Oregon and out to the Pacific). But the creepy thing about it is that the water is completely still and dark. Its so heavily controlled its scary and disconcerting to say the least.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.mynews13.com/content/dam/news/images/2012/08/casselberry-storm-sal-candela-0820.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mynews13.com/content/dam/news/images/2012/08/casselberry-storm-sal-candela-0820.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a>I on the other hand grieved like Florida rain. My husband, having lived in Florida for a period in his 20's told me that you could be driving in warm sunny weather one moment, see a strange dark grey curtain up ahead on the road and before you know it, you're in it and suddenly its like Hurricane Katrina. Little to no warning. Its not a constant smitter smatter of drizzly rain - it was sudden monsoon rain and it drowned everyone in its way. Then an hour later the sun would come out again, but you know that won't be the first nor the last time you see that kind of rain.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Imagine two people like that. Reacting like those two weather patterns in their grief. Thing is, we walked into our marriage knowing that we were persons who grieved like this, we did after all talk about it in our self designed Pre-Marital Course we did (<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/238807.101_Questions_to_Ask_Before_You_Get_Engaged" target="_blank">"101 Questions to ask before you get engaged"</a>) Of course, talking about it and living it together are two different things. But Im relieved that in a way, I wasn't completely taken aback from his way of doing it. That doesn't mean I understood nor liked it. Im sure he found my bipolar mood swings a bit disturbing himself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being in a season of acute grief is definitely not pleasant. Its damned awful. I do not wish it on anybody. For me personally in my general day to goings on at my job, in my church, with my family, with my friends, Im normally the colourful, talkative, extroverted loud one in the room. In my grief, I continued to be colourful (in my choice of swear words), talkative (in a ranty angry kind of way during my prayer time), extroverted (getting weird looks from drivers beside me in intersections at my sobbing and not caring) and loud (I suppose this blog is a good example). Even in grief I don't shut up. Observing my husband's version was mystifying to me and early on I was under the false impression that because he wasn't grieving like me, he must not care about me or our situation. Luckily, I know him well enough to know that this was completely unfair and wrong of me to make such an assumption. Anyone who knows my husband knows how much he adores children. It was one of the main reasons why I married him. It also reminded me to not be angry or resentful with him. He did not choose this. I did not choose this. I haven't always been good at remembering this. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we face struggles out in the world we either take flight or fight. But, what the heck do you do when the struggle is within yourself, your own biology? How on earth does one fight or run away from ourselves? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a Christian, I know theoretically speaking, it is not helpful to try and find the solution within myself. That is inward thinking. My body is already not doing the thing I hoped and planned for. My emotions are a mess. Im not going to find the solution within myself. Even in grief and pain I can still sin and do stupid things and hurt others. Going inward the risk for selfishness is too high. One of my very first grief prayers came from Psalm 119:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I am completely discouraged - I lie in the dust. Revive me by your Word. I told you my plans and you replied. Now give me your instructions. Make me understand what you want; for then I shall see your miracles. I weep with grief; my heart is heavy with sorrow; encourage and cheer me with your words. Keep me me from every wrong, help me, undeserving as I am, to obey your laws, for I have chosen to do right. I cling to your commands and follow them as closely as I can. Lord, don't let me make a mess of things. If you will only help me to want your will, then I will follow your laws even closely. Just tell me what to do and I will do it Lord. As long as I live I will wholeheartedly obey. (Message Version Ps 199: 25-34). </i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That sounds like such a perfect prayer eh? That is honestly what I prayed in the moment, that evening after we got our news from the Doctor. Ive not always gone back to it though. Sometimes I've clung to my bible and the words in it, like the bleeding woman who touched Jesus' cloak. Other times Ive had the temptation of just screaming "WHY God?!!" and throwing my bible against the wall. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As an individual and a wife Ive slowly come to realise a few things that have helped me through all of this that I want to share with others who might be going through something similar (or just hurting in general).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>1. Fix your eyes on Jesus</u> </b> <i><br /></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking on the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil 2:5-8). </i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a Christian, pain is not evidence that there is no God, rather it is evidence that we recognize that pain ought not to be the norm. How do we know this? By what standard do we judge something to be painful? We judge it by what is good and right in the world. Where does good and right come from? Where did it originate? The reason we know darkness exists is because we see the sun every day. Just because night comes doesn't mean I deny the sun, rather it further confirms my belief that the sun will come back in a few hours. CS Lewis said <i>"Pain is a problem only if you believe in God</i>. <i>If you believe that humans are simply the highest animal, evolved by chance, only protoplasm, going nowhere, wearing down and dying, like all other life forms, you shouldn't have a problem with pain. Life is what it is and there is no God to complain against, as a result there is no moral foundation to exist for injustice."</i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Its a hard pill to swallow. But in our pain, God is not there pointing and laughing at us doing nothing. He knows what pain is. He wept when his friend Lazarus died. He grieved and tried to isolate himself when his cousin John was beheaded. He wept and bled blood knowing what he was going to have to do in order for the entire world to be reconciled to the Father. He cried out on the cross. For me, I realised that perhaps in his lifetime, prior to starting his ministry Jesus may have looked at a child and known he was not going to have any himself. Thats not to say he never had joy and friendship with children. That has been a great comfort to me. A second comfort, looking at Jesus' genealogy was that there were women in his family line who struggled with infertility - Sarah, Rebekah, even his Mom's cousin Elizabeth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, infertility has really caused me to look at what is the foundation of my identity. Is my core identity in continuing on a family line, finally getting that little blonde haired blue eyed child I always expected would arrive in my life, getting to experience the joy of pregnancy for myself or ultimately living and dying as a servant of Christ regardless of what happens in the middle? Francis Chan makes an interesting point about this: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/86dsfBbZfWs/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/86dsfBbZfWs?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All those things I want and still desire - the little blonde mini me's running around, the baby showers, having my Mum and husband be there at the moment I give birth. None of that is bad, its GOOD! But now I've had to hand it all over to him with the expectation this this specific context of parenthood might not be what he's got planned for me. More than anything else is that never ending unrelenting God given urge to be a Mom and a great one at that. It is all good and holy. But its not my overall, be all goal. A baby ought not to be my God, Jesus is. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>2. Grieve together and separately</b></span></u></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More than any other time in your marriage, when you're hurting, go back to that overly used bible verse that someone vaguely mentioned at your wedding when you were too blinded in your happiness to listen properly:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Love is PATIENT and KIND. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable and resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love BEARS ALL THINGS, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 13:4-7).</i> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Please please be gentle and kind and patient. Acknowledge that your partner will be grieving differently to you. I found this podcast extremely helpful to listen to: </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://tgc-audio.s3.amazonaws.com/podcast/Getting_Through_Grief_Together.mp3" target="_blank">Podcast: Getting through grief together</a></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Also, allow the other person to do their own thing. Do not expect the other person to share absolutely everything with you. There were some deep deep sorrowful prayers that I kept to myself for a good while and I know my husband started journaling or writing prayers or poetry. To be honest I don't know what he was doing except writing, but to me that was a good sign that he was working things out with himself and God. There are some things we just want to keep between ourselves and God and thats ok as long as we still regularly come back to each other as a couple.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u>3. Comfort one another</u></span></span></b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thankfully my husband and I both have Physical Touch as a <a href="http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/learn-to-speak-your-spouses-love-language/understanding-the-five-love-languages" target="_blank">love language</a>. Early on, this was hard and again I think my husband was worried about stepping over my pain to help me and I him. Our spouses are not mind readers and I think its incredibly nasty and unfair for people to get angry at their spouses for not being mind readers. You often hear women say "He ought to know what to do!" No he doesn't! Especially in grief! Especially when your mood swings are scarier than a roller coaster. For me, I HAD to tell me husband "Please hold me. Please hug me and let me cry. Please let me express what is in my heart." Also as strange as this is to this Hollywood/Sex and the City saturated world, don't forget to have sex. For many people, we only equate sex with crazy heated passion and never as a form of mutual comfort between two people. The world says, sex is just sex. No feelings are involved. To me thats like playing with matches in a dry forest saying, "Its only a little bit of fire." Sex is for bonding and comfort not just pleasure and reproduction. For the majority of husbands, they need this on a consistent basis even if you as a woman feel it is wrong to have sex while grieving especially when it comes to infertility. Its not wrong. This is when I pull out the duty/submission card and gently ask you the wife to understand, this is likely what he needs right now. There are also women out there in the world who have the same sexual needs as those types of men and they need it too. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u><br /></u></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u>4. Pray and Sing</u></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In another blog post I think I'll ponder over how to pray in grief but for now let me encourage you - go to Psalms and Lamentations. There you will find persons who were so brutally honest in their feelings with God it will make yours look suddenly less strange. God can handle it, he knows what your thinking but He wants to hear you talk to him. Author Russel Moore makes an interesting statement about the passage of Romans 8:15:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"</span>Up to that time, I had read the Abba cry passages in Romans and
Galatians the same way I had heard them preached: as a gurgle of
familiarity, the spiritual equivalent of an infant cooing "Papa" or
"Daddy." Relational intimacy is surely present in the texts—hence Paul's
choice of such a personal word as Abba—but this definitely isn't
sentimental. After all, Scripture tells us that Jesus' Spirit lets our
hearts cry "Abba, Father!" (Gal. 4:6). Jesus cries "Abba, Father" as he
screams "with loud cries and tears" for deliverance in the Garden of
Gethsemane (Heb. 5:7; Mark 14:36, ESV, used throughout). Similarly, the
doctrine of adoption shows us that we "groan" with the creation itself
"as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies"
(Rom. 8:23). It is the scream of the crucified."</i> (from <a href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2010/july/10.18.html?start=1" target="_blank">Christianity Today</a>).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Scream, weep, cry, yell out to God<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, he can handle it. </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, if it helps, sing. Not those annoyingly happy songs everyone else is singing. Find the artists that sing about hurting, and pain and if possible, about Jesus at the same time. Listen to the older style hymns, those are good for grief. Right now, contemporary Christian music is going to come off as a bit trite for you. Be patient with those annoying Chris Tomlin fans. For me, there were a few weeks I flat out stopped singing in church, about two weeks I avoided being in church during the singing at all. I couldn't handle it. The only singing I was doing was in my dark bedroom in tears. That was the only kind I could do. I shared this with my Pastor and he was very understanding of this. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, for me I really found a lot of comfort through two completely polar opposite artists - Lauren Daigle and Nate </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Feuerstein aka NF. One is soft and comforting and the other, well hes just angry and honest. I needed both of them. I heard NF by accident on the radio, within a day I bought his entire album. I played his music to my husband who I was surprised to find, found it very helpful to his own healing and helped release a bit of the water in his dam.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_q6GJ-MkFsg/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_q6GJ-MkFsg?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DHhHUZsXTBk/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DHhHUZsXTBk?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lG7qn9Dx8xU/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lG7qn9Dx8xU?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/c77ndwMtoOY/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/c77ndwMtoOY?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-90380948031773249482016-02-26T23:51:00.001-08:002016-02-27T00:19:31.820-08:00Why persecution reminds me of Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon (the Queen Mother)<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The other night I heard someone I respect very much say "The end is coming. Change has happened so fast, Jesus ought to be coming back soon."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Without <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">putting down</span> at all what this dear person said, I have to respectfully offer my skepticism that Jesus is going to come back just because the West (by that I mean Westernised countries) is not only entering into becoming Post Christian but very much Anti Christian. This doesn't mean Im not sad that people aren't just devaluing biblical morals but they're twisting and changing the God who made those morals into either something He's not or nothing at all. Technically speaking, the West has been "Christianised" since the Roman Emperor Constantine decided to become a Christian. But has the West truly been Christian? By that I mean has society as a whole truly as a majority genuinely loved and feared the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob? Or have we just had the facade of being sort of Christian and now that its no longer financially or socially worth being a Christian is the true Christianity finally getting a chance to show its face? Is this "decline" in professing Christians really a decline or just people finally being honest for the first time ever? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://adam4d.com/death-of-christianity/" target="_blank">The Death of Christianity</a></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In returning to that previous statement that my friend makes I feel the need to ask the question -</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If persecution of Christians is what is going to bring back Jesus why hasn't he come back a million times already?</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://streetapologist.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/martyrdom-of-polycarp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://streetapologist.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/martyrdom-of-polycarp.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />- In the early church only 50 years or so after that wee utopian period of everybody sharing all their stuff and living together in Jerusalem and speaking all kinds of crazy tongues and languages and having that first experience of the Holy Spirit (you know what Im talking about, cos your Pastor loves to nostalgically preach on this every so often as if he was there). Do you know what happened not long after? They got themselves a crazy Emperor by the name of Nero who not only blamed that gigantic fire in Rome (that he likely started) on the Christians. Then he rounded up men, women and children who refused to worship him to be murdered or torn about by wild animals in the Colosseum AND to keep his drunk parties well lit, he covered these Christians in pit and tar and crucified them over his parties then set them on fire. Why didn't Jesus come back then?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- What about that time when the so called established 'church' of the time sent its most devout followers to capture and burn at the stake those Christians who upon reading the bible for the first time in their lives in their own language and discovered the true God who said you didn't have to pay money to get your salvation or cross yourself so many times for him to love you, or pray to this person or that person (and the only person you needed to pray to was God). </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/The_Burning_of_Master_John_Rogers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/The_Burning_of_Master_John_Rogers.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- What about that time when Britain called itself 'Christian' while convincing themselves that those people in that continent over there weren't really human but half animal and that it was ok to ignore that part in the bible about not kidnapping humans for money and taking out of context the <b><a href="http://www.str.org/blog/does-the-bible-endorse-slavery#.VtE8vuYvYqM" target="_blank">biblical <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">stance</span></a></b> of what a <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">bond servant</span> actually was? And there appeared to be only one true Christian at that time (last name Wilberforce) who fought to end that horrid despicable practice. Why didn't Jesus come back then?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- What about the millions of Chinese Christians being horribly persecuted and driven underground. Have we stopped to think that China has never had a "Christian government" nay not even a wee bit of Christian in their roots yet they likely have more Christians than all of the West combined? Persecution has never stopped for them. Why <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">hasn't </span>Jesus come then or now <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">because of their suffering</span>? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- What about our brothers and sisters in Christ in the Middle East being <a href="http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2015/10/05/report-syrian-christians-cry-jesus-isis-mass-beheading/" target="_blank">BEHEADED</a> for loving and confessing Christ as their Lord. What about them?! </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maybe I'm sound a bit like a broken record here but Im trying to respectfully make a point. I know we're being persecuted as Christians in the West. I know its going to get worse. But I feel like, to the rest of our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world we're looking like weak little cry babies because we're looking at how its starting feel uncomfortable being a Christian. We're no longer accepted any more. People are hurting our feelings now and accusing us of not being nice and this hurts our feelings and we're acting like we've lost a limb when really this is more like a paper cut.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now after this gigantic rant you may still be scratching your head and wondering, "what on earth does this have to do with the <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">late</span> Queen Mother?!"</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIsU6grXDSBPC5F2n1AAOKWoEjLM_CPQa0UMHGEjNptKo7mU5H2_AXiZanTjo7E7ohDVE3MonZm0TkRQGU5IlVyMrPREzqBaz6RQTlMr9dQKS9-qSEoFAw2IK_08y_eGG_QmSiwR0KbpN8/s1600/_QEQM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01110/nqueenmother_1110414a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01110/nqueenmother_1110414a.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To some people, one might yawn and think "Oh gee, another spoilt royal." Let me tell you something, this woman is probably one of the most bravest of women in the kind of position such as her's. She wasn't born into royalty, she married into it - quite hesitatingly too (she turned down the then Duke of York's proposals TWICE!!). But anyway, thats not why I admire this woman's legacy so. Most women I think, if they knew that they were to be bombed by an enemy of some kind they'd grab their kids and run for it (in her case, the runaway destination offered to her and her daughters was Canada). But she flat out refused to leave London during WW2.</span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">“The children will not leave unless I do. I shall not leave unless their
father does, and the King will not leave the country in any
circumstances whatever," she said when asked if she would leave London
during World War II. </span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03380/Queen_Mother_East__3380283k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03380/Queen_Mother_East__3380283k.jpg" height="229" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you're not a
history buff like I am you may not know that the East End of London was
likely the most worst hit area by the Nazi Luftwaffe during the war (cos
thats where all their shipyards and warehouses were). The East End was
also where the poorest of the poor of all London lived. The squalor that
the East End had was well known and had truly set in long before
the bombs laid waste. This woman's compassionate heart, dedication and
loyal stubbornness to her husband and her country and most of all her
fellow countrymen (particularly in this neighborhood) is what made her one of the the most beloved Queen's
of all time. When the East End was being regularly bombed, she repeatedly left her house (Buckingham) went down there with her husband and two kids in broad daylight at risk of her own life and that of her family in order so she could commiserate, comfort and encourage them. I don't think any royal before her EVER did this, especially not a Queen. Because of this England literally treated her like a living saint and thus were extremely protective and proud of her and her family. Instead of hiding and sheltering her daughter's from the war at hand, she instead encouraged them to directly serve - as a result our current Queen Elizabeth (as a young woman) trained and worked as a truck driver and mechanic (during a time when it was <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">just not the thing for a princess to be doing, driving a car, fancy that!</span>)</span>. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then,</span> it finally happened to the royal family<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"> - <span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text">Buckingham Palace took nine direct
hits from German bombers, the first raid involving a fairly narrow
escape for the King and Queen as masonry and windows were destroyed
close to them.</span> Im sure this was legitimately terrifying to them as well. But the Queen's response is completely remarkable - </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span>“I'm glad we've been bombed. It makes me feel I can look the East End in the face.”</b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This brings me to my point.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is not a denigration to either side but sometimes I feel like as Westernized Christian's we've been too comfortable in our wealth and 'palaces' while our brothers and sisters, our fellow country men of the Kingdom we strive to enter have been taking bombs for years, some even hundreds of years. We're only just starting to get little hits. Lets not moan. Lets not sit on our hands and wait for Jesus to come back (only He knows when he's coming back). Lets not get obsessive and do nothing but speculate about end times and waste breath arguing about pre vs post millennium-ism and who's who of potential Anti Christ's. Lets pull a leaf out of this grand lady's hat and roll up our sleeves and comfort one another, suffer together gladly, think outside of ourselves and our own little world. Lets serve. When Jesus comes back I want him to find me busy working and loving for his Kingdom using the talents He gave me instead of sticking them in the ground and not doing anything. Now th<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">at we're finally being persecuted, I too feel weirdly <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">relieved</span> and think, maybe one day I too can look my brothers and sisters in the face<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">instead of <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">pitying them I can finally <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">share with them the cup of Christ.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">POST SCRIPT</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I admire the late Queen Mother so much I thought Id add a few more of her quotes and picture of her playing pool:</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="http://i.imgur.com/xe3JWPV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.imgur.com/xe3JWPV.jpg" height="247" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span>“Cowards falter, but danger is often overcome by those who nobly dare.”</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>"Nobody is boring. If you find someone or something a bore, the fault lies in you."</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b><b>"You should live your life, as if tomorrow you’ll be run over by a big red bus."</b></span></div>
Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-57504300685098567322016-02-07T16:15:00.001-08:002016-02-07T16:15:21.093-08:00What infertility has been teaching me about God's grace<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last September was probably the most broken hearted period my husband and I truly had together. It was a tough month. I had just been offered a full time permanent job which you'd think I was supposed to be rejoicing over but instead I was struggling so much in my first week (transitioning from community to hospital context) on the job, I went home crying wondering if I had made some kind of terrible mistake. Secondly we were in the process of moving home late in the rental season here in Vancouver (which locals know even in the Summer its a tough market). But that was nothing in comparison to what came. My husband and I got the result of the test.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I won't go into detail, but it was bad. Really bad. For both of us it was devastating. What made it even hard (though it was no one's fault at all) was that other couples dear to us had announced their pregnancies that SAME week that we got our news. Not wanting to ruin their joy I literally suffocated while hiding my own grief. I put it in that box deep down and hid it away but in quiet moments in my day all the emotions I blocked up would come exploding out of me. I would be driving my car listening to something totally benign and normal or in Walmart comparing apple prices and out of nowhere it would puke out of me, this torrent of sorrow and before I could count to two I'd break down and be sobbing over apples or on a Highway with blurred vision. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I didn't know I would be challenging my own beliefs about God and the bible that I had previously been (at least intellectually) rock solid with. Like:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- God is good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- God knows best</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- God is Almighty Creator</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- God is perfect</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- God is just</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thing is I believed those things in my head but I was not truly living it out in my heart. I was having irrepressible thoughts pop into my mind like:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- Im a GOOD person! I DESERVE children.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- Ive been planning and preparing for this, therefore, God you owe me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- If I am deserving, and I cannot have children then why do I see undeserving people conceiving and having (or throwing away) their children?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a result I started battling the worst case of bitterness, envy and anger I had ever experienced in my life. In my personal life, because of my adhering to biblical beliefs that children are a "heritage from the Lord" it means that I am also vocally Pro Life. But in the last 5 months Ive felt I've needed to take a mental sabbatical from thinking about Planned Parenthood and abortions because it quite frankly makes me weep harder. At the same time Ive carried this huge terrifying fear of being THAT kind of crazy nasty woman. The kind that snubs her pregnant friends in order to make herself feel good or at least not have to face her own pain. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2009/1/27/1233066791973/Image-from-Living-With-a--001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2009/1/27/1233066791973/Image-from-Living-With-a--001.jpg" height="240" width="400" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Winston Churchill famously labeled his depression as being like a big black dog that never left him alone. Someone much later on wrote a picture book for adults that I bought for work purposes (share it with client's who have mental illness). I never thought I'd be looking at that book for myself. It wasn't a clinical depression but it started as a constant nagging fear during our 2+ years of not conceiving and then like a grief losing a beloved family member when we found out the news.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sometime in the weeks following I struggled with the above arguments I had with myself. I was having vicious theological debates with myself over the concept of goodness. My petty argument with myself was that I am good therefore I deserve to get pregnant naturally and have children. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In Mark 18:10 we find a guy calling out to Jesus saying "Hey Good teacher!" and Jesus responds.. "“Why do you call me good? No one is good—except God alone." Now Jesus IS good. Because he never sinned. By word, action or thought. But for Christian's he is our only standard of goodness. As Christian's we rate ourselves and everyone else as born inherently 'bad'. Our standard of good these days just looks like an imperfect person just trying to live life, pay their taxes and keeping their lawn appropriately cut. The guy calling Jesus good was putting the world's standard of "good" on Jesus and as such he was flat out refusing that title attached to that man's flawed worldly version of good. Now in other part's Jesus does use the title "good" eg "The Good Shepherd" etc elsewhere, but in doing so, he gives his own definition to what good is - perfection. Because he did that, the religious leaders of that time frequently picked up rocks and attempted to stone him multiple times because in saying what he was saying, Jesus was calling himself God. By calling out to God saying that I am a "good person" what am I really believing? Am I truly the pinnacle of goodness? Am I THE standard? The TRUTH? The WAY? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My husband would tell you, no I am not. Im quite pathetic in trying to be good actually, I fail miserably every time.</span><br />
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another argument against my terrible theology is my wanting my "good works" to procure God's blessing. God doesn't work that way. You can't 'buy' Gods favor with good behavior. God offers salvation through his son as a gift. I cannot earn it. I think God does bless obedience but it is based on his omnipotent power and knowledge and above all else, his mercy and grace. Sometimes obedience is painful and suffering may occur through doing right. In the bible there are stories where it says that God does deliberately stop conception of children. Sometimes its explained, sometimes it isn't. There are also examples in the bible where couples are devastatingly childless who also happened to be godly, obedient, humble people. Hannah and Elizabeth are two women I think of right now. Sometimes infertility occurs and there is no rhyme or reason for it. Sin is in this world which also means there is sickness. Some sickness comes as a direct result of ones sin in ones life - eg alcoholism often leads to liver disease. Other sicknesses just arrive because of a freak accident in chemistry in the body, its not our fault but its there. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another argument is, my past, present and future anger in my head are just as equally culpable to God's law of sin = death as the person who physically commits murder. Jesus said, both are equally deserving of hell. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thanks be to God that me with my angry thoughts as well as the man who commits murder while equally deserving of hell, are also both equally gifted salvation though undeserving we both are.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, theres my sodden argument so far:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- I am a good person - WRONG. Only Jesus is good.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- God owes me - WRONG. He owes me nothing, yet he gives me something better (more priceless) than a child, he saved me from my sin yesterday, today and tomorrow.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My last argument was - why do some people get pregnant and some don't? Matthew 5:45 says that God gives sun and rai<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">n</span> to both evil and good people. Thing is, I don't know others circumstances. Its<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> really none of my business<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and I don't have the right to be mad <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">from </span>assumptions I make about people's lives when Im only seeing a <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">minuscule</span> view of their bigger picture. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Im young still. Onl<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y in my late twenties. I am <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">relieved</span> that I started this process early. A friend who had also gone down this path <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">counseled</span> me to start digging around for answers after I shared with her my concerns about not <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">conceiving</span> in <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">a 3-4 year period. I don't know <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">how children will come our way, whether by medical intervention, some sheer miracle or by adoption. Im not sure. Im keeping my eyes and heart open to any direction. All I know is, I know Im going to be a Mom. But I have to be open to the <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">idea that the process may not be the one I initially wanted. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is very <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">strongly teaching me that in planning my life<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, I need to hand God the pen and keep a pencil for myself. If its the other way round Im setting myself up for bitterness which Im now <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">finding out the hard way. Corrie Ten Boom - a <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">marvelous<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span> Christian woman</span></span></span></span> </span></span>who survived a Nazi concentration camp because she and her family hid Jews, once said - </span></span></span></span><br />
<h1 class="quoteText">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”</span></span></h1>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last thing I've learned is this - suffering doesn't have to mean Im alone. Jesus once said an odd thing - "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." When the hubby and I were told our news we had barely been mourning our loss for a week when I accidentally broke during a staff lunch when someone casually and innocently asked "Do you have children Melody?" With all my strength, I quietly answered back "We can't" Well thats one way to kill a conversation. Somehow by the end of the day, all my colleagues knew and were rather obviously avoiding my company or providing me with badly hidden looks of pity or stupid comments like "Have you tried raising your legs up?" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FYI, if you have children yourself, please don't offer "advice." No matter how well intentioned you are please SHUT UP. Your advice is very patronizing and borderline cruel. People in our situation only want advice from people who are going or have gone through this same thing. And I am so exceedingly grateful that I had more than one friend who I could unashamedly pour my grief out to because they had gone through it themselves. If you do want to comfort me, let it be just to comfort not to fix. An interesting thing happened after that wee episode at work. I had FOUR colleagues privately seek me out at work and tell me they too were struggling with infertility. They were struggling with the shame, and the guilt and the suffocating grief that I too knew so well and not having anyone to talk to about it. Within one and a half weeks of being a mourner myself, God drew me out to comfort others where they needed it and be that understanding person for them. Crying with someone else helped me too. Sometime later I saw the movie 'Inside Out' and there was a scene that explained it so well:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/i5Q2dah75Zc/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/i5Q2dah75Zc?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So there I have it. Thats about as far as I can explain it. Im still not happy that Im not a Mom, but I also understand its not my be all and end all. God put that desire in me and there it stays. And every now and then I pull it out and hand it up to God and say Hannah's prayer</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">"My heart exalts in the Lord; my horn is exalted in the Lord.. I rejoice in your salvation. There is none holy like the Lord; for there is none beside you; there is no rock like our God."</span></b> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-18272677318420570302016-01-01T14:00:00.001-08:002016-01-01T14:04:05.537-08:00Introducing - Lies Women Believe<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G00wAkh7L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G00wAkh7L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" height="320" width="210" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I bought this book a little while ago in the sale section at <b><a href="http://www.houseofjames.com/" target="_blank">House of James</a></b>. I got it with a study series as well in the hopes of potentially using it or offering it to other groups in the future to go through. Ive started reading it this week and Ive enjoyed it so far. I appreciate the fact that the author states emphatically at the beginning that one could write entire books on each chapter point that she makes. That said the points she makes are concise, backed up with straight forward biblical reasoning along with scripture but her practical examples are very few and she does not explore further into trickier issues. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since she has acknowledged this the reader needs to make sure they do not 'throw the baby out with the bathwater' as the saying goes. There are gaps in this book yes, but as a whole we need to see the good in her broad umbrella picture of lies we as women face THEN explore particular issues with a deeper analysis with other writers and professionals. I think if a woman is reading this book and she notes there is a particular 'lie' or two that she struggles with then there are other books she can search out regarding that topic. De Moss provides a section at the back of her book with a list of added books to read. That said, the list is not exhaustive and is confined only to a short list and minimal resources at best within the US (where the author is based). </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a piece of constructive criticism it would have been helpful for this author to do more research into some points that I felt she was well intentioned but obviously ignorant in, in particular abusive relationships. I note that this author is well known as being a woman of God happy in her state of singleness (<a href="http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2015/05/11/nancy-leigh-demoss-announces-her-engagement/" target="_blank">until recently that is</a>), and is not a Mom herself. While I accept that she is allowed to have opinions on biblical wifedom (and attached to that, ideas on submission) and motherhood, I personally think she has a limited view from her inexperience in these matters. I have opinions on how to raise children, but I know full well that my friends with children would be skeptical and at the very least hesitant on listening to me if I started telling them how to raise their children. Even if all my theological ideas on child rearing are Christ driven and correct! I just don't have the authority needed, and in the case of DeMoss I feel in some areas she also does not have experience and therefore cannot be a reliable authority on certain matters no matter how theologically correct she is. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may only be 27 years old but I feel personally I have a mountain of wealth in my own experience on domestic abuse while she as a single woman in midlife that she does not have. That means if the two of us were lined up and given a young woman to counsel who was in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, I would expect that having more experience and practical know how in this topic would make me a far better mentor for such a person. Thats not pride its just a fact. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That said she does cover a lot of areas well enough.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The chapters cover these areas:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about God</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- God is not really good</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>God does not love me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- God is just like my father</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- God is not really enough</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Gods ways are too restrictive</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- God should fix my problems</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about themselves</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I'm not worth anything</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I need to learn to love myself</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I can't help the way I am</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I have my rights</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about sin</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I can sin and get away with it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- My sin isn't really that bad</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- God can't forgive what I have done</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about priorities</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I don't have time to do everything that Im supposed to do</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about marriage</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I have to have a husband to be happy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>It is my responsibility to change my spouse</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>My husband is supposed to serve me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>If my husband is passive, Ive got to take the initiative, or nothing will get done</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>If I submit to my husband, I'll be miserable</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about children</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Its up to us to determine the size of our family<i> </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>Children need to get exposed to the "real world" so that they can learn to function in it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>All children will go through a rebellious phase</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>I know my child is a Christian because he prayed to receive Christ at an early age<i> </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>We are not responsible for how our children turn out</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lies about emotions</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>If I feel something it must be true</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>I can't control my emotions</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>I can't help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>- </i>The answer to depression mught first be sought in medication and/or psychotherapy</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lies about circumstances </span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- If my circumstances were different, I would be different</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I shouldn't have to suffer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- My circumstances will never change - this will go on forever</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I just can't take any more</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- It's all about me</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know its a lot. But read through them all. Do any bring on fast response in you? Outrage? Guilt? Confusion? Quiet agreement? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll bet at least two of them got your attention. I don't know which ones but I know when I first went over them my reaction to this author was - "Can you believe the nerve of this lady??" I know, I know. Hear me out. Read the book first THEN get uppity. I suspect the titles are written in a way to get your (maybe negative) attention. Hear this lady out! Sure, be offended, but at the very least be open to reading what you think she might say. You'll be surprised.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I was.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may end up reading the book and still not agreeing with her on a few or more or maybe all things. Thats ok. Just read it and consider the thought that she might bring you a convincing argument about that 'little' lie you nestle and look after. We often get extremely angry at the person who rips our comfort sins out of our arms and I have no doubt you'll feel the same way about this lady. You may read this book and have to put it down then take it up again a few hours later to digest what she writes. A few years I had some very strong feelings over certain secondary issues and I would have been outraged then that today I have softened my views or changed them altogether. It was regarding pacifism. I won't get into it but my views changed somewhat because I allowed others to freely share their opinions with scripture with me without immediate judgement.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Try the book out. </span>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-55207404679615435202015-07-18T12:25:00.003-07:002015-07-18T12:25:43.360-07:00Swearing - Men do it so why not us?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few weeks ago I went to
see a new release movie with my husband. Admittedly, in order to find
what we think we might like all we do is see whats on. That Saturday we
had two choices - "Entourage" and "Spy". Both were in the race for being
a big seller at the box office. I heard that Entourage was just a male
version of Sex and the City and I thought 'Bleh' so we decided on 'Spy"
instead. If you want to read a Christian review of 'Spy prior to
watching it yourself (or prior to critiquing it) please click on the
link - <a href="http://www.pluggedin.com/movie-reviews/spy-2015" target="_blank">Plugged In review</a>. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/SPY_1SHEET.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/SPY_1SHEET.jpg" height="320" width="217" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/i/2015/01/13/Spy_0.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/i/2015/01/13/Spy_0.jpg" height="198" width="320" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
movie is essentially a comedy with Melissa McCarthy as the lead actress
with Jason Statham, Jude Law, Rose Byrne and Miranda Hart carrying the
weight of the supporting cast. McCarthy plays a character that initially
gives you the impression that shes the Bridget Jones of the CIA world.
Dumpy, passive but smiley and a tad gullible with a rather pathetic
crush on her James Bond 'ish colleague. People patronize her, belittle
her, walk past her, cold shoulder her, take credit for her ideas, her
creativity and her intelligence. Meanwhile its the rough 'n tumble, ever
swearing, oh so humble (*cough cough) Jason Statham and Mr Sauve Nice
Guy (*cough cough) Jude Law take the credit for bravery and everything
else but the rotation of the sun.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Essentially, an accidental mess up happens, someone is (*ehem) killed, agents identities become </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">compromised
and known to terrorists and theres no one left to save the world from
nuclear annihilation. Except McCarthy who tentatively and bravely steps
up to the plate of secret agent. Even as she enters the process of
joining the Cool Spy clique shes still undermined, made fun of and
deliberately given unflattering aliases with gadgets disguised as
hemorrhoid cream and stool softeners. You really feel for her. Watching
this movie, Im sure we in the audience were all thinking 'These people
are really harsh to her.' </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Theres
a good portion of this character that I really identify with. We find
out that she wasn't always so passive and showed promising talent as a
(somewhat) aggressive but capable secret agent in the making. We find
out that over time, Mr 'Bond' (Jude Law) recognizes and is intimidated
by her talent and takes her down and out of his way, by way of
denigrating insults disguised as pity kindness, add to that her comments
about her Mom's horribly disparaging remarks she got growing up. As
women we have all experienced this kind of painful social ostracism
whether by men or other women. We see in the movie and we know rightly
and think "That's not right." </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Within
a day of entering her new spy post in Paris McCarthy's character is fed
up and goes awol with the pre planned hands off role.</span> She gets rid of her grandma alias and invents her own. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://images.fandango.com/images/fandangoblog/04_EPKTV_Spy-150331.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.fandango.com/images/fandangoblog/04_EPKTV_Spy-150331.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="http://newimages.bwwstatic.com/upload11/1026412/11392969_663798963753587_3173766543853875368_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://newimages.bwwstatic.com/upload11/1026412/11392969_663798963753587_3173766543853875368_n.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
-----------><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Long
story short, she saves the day, proves her worth, removes the doormat
she was lying under and encourages herself with a new boldness and
beauty (Parisian fashion and a make over help) and tenacity that makes
even the cocky Jason Statham admit she's pretty cool. But is that it?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
really enjoyed the movie but for one thing - the swearing (and the
completely disgusting and irrelevant penis glimpses). Of course I knew
there would be ouchee moments in the fight scenes, the movie does say
"SPY" after all. No doubt McCarthy has come along way since her perky
cuddly Gilmore Girls/Mike 'n Molly days. No doubt shes trying to prove
her worth to the movie world that shes beyond type casting as the token
fat girl and I agree, she is way talented beyond the dull roles that
Hollywood typically forces on plus size women. And by the way I do not
EVER think she is not gorgeous the whole way through (FYI). </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But
does a woman have to be crass a million times over to prove herself
that she is talented? I know what you're thinking - But boys swear and
are adored! Why can't we swear and be admired too? Well here I am to
debunk this stupidity. Quite frankly Im also out to debunk the theory
that boys who swear are admired by women. Maybe so, but not by
intelligent self respecting women. This argument of 'boys do something
gross, crass, disgusting, immoral, dishonourable so we should be able to
do it too' is a total cop out and shows a spiral down, unintelligent,
'lets jump off the cliff too' lemming like</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">reasoning.
Its an insult to the strong men who choose to actually respect
themselves, the women around them and the world amongst them without an
attached F* word. The other problem I have with this movie is that it
paints only one route for women to take in order to be bold, brave,
inspiring and gorgeous - be aggressive, no, not just aggressive, be
disgusting. Its the same weak mentality that little immature boys have
in the playground - who can</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">piss the longest, spit the furtherest and cuss the loudest. We all know they're a joke.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let
me tell you, those little boys who unfortunately can also grow a beard,
drive a car and impregnate a woman - is (and let me be emphatically
clear) - extremely unattractive and in my definition, a failure of a
man. They are representatives of a class of people who do far more hurt
than good. In reality they are not funny, they are hurtful and abusive.
They are not strong, they are weak. It is the perverted imagination of
Hollywood who attaches the facade of an abusive man to a Jason Statham
or a Jude Law, add a dash of American slapstick humor and the world laps
it up and women are sadly convinced that in order to prove that we are
truly "free" and "liberated" as women that we need to act like THAT. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What
saddened both me and my husband was that we agreed that we think we
still could have immensely enjoyed the movie had they chosen not to put a
single profanity in it, probably more so. And we think the movie still
would have knocked box office records and made a ton of money too.
Melissa McCarthy nor Jason Statham for that matter don't need a toilet
mouth to prove to me how talented they are. I KNOW they are talented in
their craft and I respect them for that alone. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In
studying both the pendulum behaviours of passivity vs aggression, both
are ultimately destructive and dysfunctional and overwhelmingly
unhelpful. Neither are sustainable. Neither are healthy. </span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.kimberlywagner.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/9780802406200.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.kimberlywagner.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/9780802406200.jpg" height="320" width="207" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Women-Power-Warrior-Woman/dp/0802406203" target="_blank">Fierce Women</a> by Kimberly Wagner, the author talks about powerful women - <i>fierce women</i>: </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I never wanted to be a wimpy woman, I've always been drawn to strong women - aren't you?</span> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A refined strength has an alluring appeal</span>. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love to see a fierce woman in action. Nothing fazes her</span>. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She's
indomitable, detirmined and she's a passionate force beyond
contention... Im not talking about ugly fierceness that is really just
raw</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">uncontrolled
aggression. There is a beauty to the right kind of fierceness. Not the
brand that recklessly walks over people or is rooted in self centred
goals. Not the fierceness that produces Ice Queens or conniving shrews</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but
a fierceness that is humble strength and power under control. The kind
that grabs on the hem of God's will and won't let go. One that
determinedly stands strong in a gale of opposition. The kind that looks
fear in the eye without blinking and confidently forges ahead."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then she explains its unrestrained ugly side:</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Characteristics of a destructively fierce woman:</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> -
She establishes herself as her own authority. Her identity flows from
the false pretension that she's in charge of her own life and her
independence is her highest value.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She's always pulled by the lure of "more." Her desires are never satisfied so she does not know contentment.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She's unaware that ingratitude, pride and fear are the driving components of her life.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She's obsessive about things that matter to her. She lives with a self centred agenda.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She longs for love and affection but often goes in too hard and comes out swinging.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She goes to battle often, mistaking her belligerence for heroism.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She grabs for power, and no one and nothing prevents her from getting her way.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-
She uses her strength to bully others. She does not recognize it as
bullying, but her continual criticisms, negative perspective and harsh
tones eat away at people like acid.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She is often involved with conflicts with others.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She is harsh in her honesty with others and is proud of it.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-
She walks in arrogance and pride but is blind to her own lack of
humility. She views meek behaviour as a sign of weakness. She sincerely
believes her personal conflicts stem from others ineptness, lack of
spirituality or inferior behaviour.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- She craves power over others and has mastered the art of controlling others through subtle manipulation."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Phew, what a list!</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://dobrador.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/244672192226995937_PzPxeKSC_c.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://dobrador.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/244672192226995937_PzPxeKSC_c.jpg" height="241" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
thing is, fierceness has both a wonderful and a horrible side of it
which ever way is bridled and encouraged. I fear that young (and older)
women are being mistaken into thinking that movies like 'Spy' are always
representing a positive fierceness. There were wonderful examples of it
in the movie no doubt about it, but they were imperceptible nuggets in
comparison to the tsunami of destructive fierceness and blatant F bombs.
Theres nothing cool or even liberating about that word. It doesn't make
you strong when you say it. In saying it you're not joining the world
of strong men but weak men. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A
woman that watches her mouth watches her purity. She is modest. She is
not weak or passive but strong. Purity and modesty have just as much to
say about the tongue than just her anatomy and we women are particularly
bad examples</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">for
ripping down rather than building up our sisters and brothers verbally.
We know the weapon we bear. And if you think your tongue and how you use
it is not a big deal then think about <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOHXGNx-E7E" target="_blank">Amanda Todd</a></span>.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
am not perfect of this either. I have failed at this time and time
again. I know it is an issue because I am often convicted by the Holy
Spirit, not by man or my words. My fear is not whether I said enough but
if I said too much or in a poor way. As women we are life givers. Not
just biologically but emotionally and intellectually and spiritually as
well. Ladies you might not know it but men (especially our husbands)
search and crave after our verbal acknowledgement of them, our
encouragement of their presence and thankfulness of their giftings. We
need to do it with each other as well. We need to fiercely love each
other but not in harshness. Call each other to repent but with
humility. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let our words be life. </span><br />
<br />
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/WrhHKo6zAxU/0.jpg" src="?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-7353899732640317622015-07-18T12:23:00.002-07:002015-07-18T12:23:32.744-07:00You don't have to be your Dad - Thoughts from an AoM blog post.<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/06/12/you-dont-have-to-be-your-dad-how-to-become-your-familys-transitional-character/" target="_blank">You Don’t Have to Be Your Dad: How to Become Your Family’s Transitional Character</a></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/child-s-drawing-parents-fighting-5771248.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/child-s-drawing-parents-fighting-5771248.jpg" height="168" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Above is an excellent thought provoking post by 'The Art of Manliness' blog. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I think this can apply to young and older women too and with the same solutions as
mentioned on the blog. Growing up, the marriages I saw looked like a
masterpiece that had had someone scribble offensive graffiti over it. A
lot of people agree with me that this is the new norm but sadly don't
think theres anything worth salvaging and just call it obsolete. "Why
marry, its stupid and everyone divorces anyway" is the common argument.
Thats like taking the Sistine Chapel and its entire beautifu<span class="text_exposed_show">l
frescoes painstakingly painted by hand by Michelangelo and over the
space of 50 years ++ more and more immature stupid people go and spray
paint an F word and a bunch of male genitalia here and there and saying "Oh
well, look how ugly and useless the sistine chapel is! We should just
get rid of it now because its disgusting and will cause more harm than
good now.." </span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDFGY9eOBD7YcFO5UUdEnCJLSqm-CAfaza3YKSFZNsCikezVqsvBAYv6RBmkL9RM-_VreydxznOTIaCyl6C0q25cf05xf_QzzN5YOO_glm7qogHmbNV3ClNOSqESS7lswJ3MpR2kd5IW8/s1600/graffitied+fresco.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDFGY9eOBD7YcFO5UUdEnCJLSqm-CAfaza3YKSFZNsCikezVqsvBAYv6RBmkL9RM-_VreydxznOTIaCyl6C0q25cf05xf_QzzN5YOO_glm7qogHmbNV3ClNOSqESS7lswJ3MpR2kd5IW8/s640/graffitied+fresco.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is this what marriage looks like to us nowadays? Can we even see the picture anymore?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">I
think most people would be horrified at doing that to the Sistine
Chapel! Do they not know that there are people out there in the world
whose career it is to restore ruined art? Like marriage, there are
people out there who know what a good marriage is and have tools and
resources ready for us! Yet most run around like headless chickens
saying "No, no no noooo! It doesn't exist anymore!" Its not that
marriage fails people, its that people fail marriage. And by getting rid
of it in doing so you're getting rid of a priceless treasure whose
worth and blessings we never noticed until its long gone a few
generations and we finally realise when its too late how universally
wonderful and worthwhile it it was. If all you saw was a an ugly piece
of graffiti growing up, don't throw it away! Clean it up!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">But
cleaning up is easier said than done, its extremely time demanding and
exhausting and its likely you'll get little to zero help from those who
contributed to the graffiti. The hope is, that by standing out and
making a change some members of your family MIGHT change. But I suspect
they might not.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">After
God led the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and into the Promised
Land, with many of the survivors, despite being taken out of physical
bondage they still carried the emotional and spiritual wounds of
bondage. Today we would call this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Despite after seeing miracle after miracle they could not see out of of
their visual lens of slavery and as such it impaired their ability to
think freely and maturely. Of the millions that left Egypt, only two
people were able to see beyond their past bondage and seek their
inheritance in faith - Joshua and Caleb. The rest could not. God saw
that they were either afraid, unwilling or just plain disobedient to
look to Him and trust Him, so he forced them to stay in the Wilderness
so the first generation could die off and a new generation could start
again and walk into Caanan with the right mindset, resources and above
all, faith in God. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">For many of us, generational "sins" may only leave with the passing of elders. In the story of the Exodus,
the Israelites had to leave a 400 year old abusive relationship with
nothing. They with the leadership of Moses were courageous in leaving
but were incapacitated to create a new legacy. As such it was the
children and grandchildren of those former slaves who were trained and
taught to be men and women of God, children of God. It was those
children and grandchildren that went on to conquer the Canaanite cities
and kingdoms under Joshua, and those who forgot, turned away from God
and returned to their "slave/sin" mindset were in turn destroyed by
their enemies.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">For those of us women who want to be transitional representatives to our old or new families how do we go about doing it?</span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://brokenbutinonepeace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/prayer-on-my-knees4.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://brokenbutinonepeace.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/prayer-on-my-knees4.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">-
First of all you need to submit yourself before God and ask for a
revelation of his purposes of life, marriage and (potential) motherhood.
Ask God to reveal to you where your family attitudes, values and
practices did not run in accord with his design for the family. THEN ask
him if there was anything from your family culture that you should
retain. Pray on this, and take notes, it will take you a while to get
this all down. Compare and contrast your memories and thoughts with
scripture. </span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.riverwoodcovenant.org/hp_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/body-of-Christ.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.riverwoodcovenant.org/hp_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/body-of-Christ.jpg" height="199" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">-
Second, be in community in your church. The bible says we are his
adopted children and Jesus is our big brother and church is our family.
If you are the only christian in your family, you will need 'God
Parents' (as such) to teach and guide you. Im not saying desert any
relevant or useful advice from your biological parents or relatives, but
if you worship Jesus as your Lord and Saviour and your immediate family
do not, undoubtedly your goals and dreams in life will want to submit
and be in line with His Will. Non Christian's by not seeing or loving
Jesus as you, will have no comprehension of this and therefore there is a
strong possibility their ideas will not come under your same line of
reasoning. At church ask around for a godly couple. To find this couple
their reputation will undoubtedly precede them by the fact that others
will speak highly of them. Seek them out and without being a total
stalker, become friends with them and over time humbly ask them
questions on things you're finding difficult and they will give you some
solid advice and will model their marriage to you. Get involved and
serve where they serve. The best role modelling I got was of a
husband/wife team doing their ministry with kids and puppets. I didn't
just sit back and demand answers, I got involved and came to really
enjoy their company, watching the two of them, getting to know them,
their marriage and also I came to really enjoy puppets and kids as a
side bonus. Observe the husband and how he treats and communicates to
his wife and vice versa. Make mental notes. Just make sure its a two way
street relationship, and not just you constantly wanting to leech
something off them. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">- Read! </span></span><br />
<a href="http://images.clipartpanda.com/stack-of-books-images-biypq7X4T.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.clipartpanda.com/stack-of-books-images-biypq7X4T.jpeg" height="320" width="225" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">There
are so many great books out there that can help you on this! Of course
we now live in a time of information overload where theres a book on
EVERYTHING under the sun. How does one sieve out the garbage from the
really useful stuff. Or as Jesus said it - Separating the chaff from the
wheat? First thing to NOT do - do not ask your peers indiscriminately
what they're reading. Most likely what they're reading is stupid, esp if
its about handsome, rich and abusive boyfriends, 100 year old glittery
vampires, or if it starts with Cosmo and shows more skin than a playboy.
You can do so much better than that. Your fore Mothers did not waste
their time protesting for the right to give literacy to their daughters -
YOU, so that you would go and read trash. By doing so you're spitting
on their legacy and insulting your own intelligence. </span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.womensbiblecafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/bible.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.womensbiblecafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/bible.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">Reading
good books starts with reliable sources. Again go to the older
reputable women (and men!) in your church. While you're hanging out with
them, ask them what they read or if they know of anyone else in the
church who is discerning and well read. Im 26 now and I have a pretty
extensive library for someone my age, but I still enjoy hearing about
new books to search out from other godly women in my church. My husband
thinks its weird but whenever I meet a preacher or teacher or anyone I
respect, I always ask "What are you currently reading? Whats you're
favorite book in your bookshelf?" Speaking of male recommendations, one
of the BEST books I have ever read that helped me as a woman was a book
written by a male Pastor for men and it was on Manhood ('Into the
Wilderness' by John Eldredge if you must know). It was given to me by a
male christian friend when I was 19, and it blew my mind away! From
reading that book, it was like a light went off in my head and I had
this knowledge of what on earth guys have to deal with when it comes to
sin. It made me a much more understanding and compassionate woman and
future wife to the man God placed in my life. When my husband walked
into my life, I gave him my copy and his reaction after reading it was
the same and now we own multiple copies of it and we just hand em out
like candy! A good book is always worth sharing, and often the best ones
are the ones we hear about by word of mouth. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">So
anyway, what Im hoping to soon have on this blog is have a tab bar on
the top of this blog and one of the tabs be called 'Books' which can
link readers to a solid, discerning, organized list of books that are
worthwhile to read. Or you could just add me as a friend on
goodreads.com and check out my books there. You don't have to
necessarily read marriage themed books to be positively impacted to be a
better daughter of God, better daughter, sister, wife, friend. They
help of course if anything is a good read, don't forget the bible is a
great book too! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://sr.photos2.fotosearch.com/bthumb/CSP/CSP336/k3362110.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://sr.photos2.fotosearch.com/bthumb/CSP/CSP336/k3362110.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">-
Be mindful of the influence and choice of people you allow to be around
you. Our choice of friends really says a lot about what we value. Lets
just be honest, its easy to get inspired by your friends and its just as
easy to be swayed into evil or "respectable" sins by those we call
friends. If you used to be into partying, and drinking and not doing
much else and your friends also did those activities along side you,
what will happen if your life changed suddenly from those previous
values? If getting drunk on the weekend was your illustration of meaning
and fun in your life what happens if you get sick and you can't party
anymore? What happens to the person who moves beyond partying and gets
married and has some kids, and their only friends are people who now
have no idea what's going on in their life? A level of closeness in that
relationship is now gone, because they will no longer be able to
identify with each other and suddenly the world becomes lonelier. Always
strive to have friends in different age brackets. Having younger female
friends will force you to often evaluate your behaviour and what you
model (because you know someone is observing you and your Christian
walk). Having older friends (by older I mean someone a generation or two
older) will allow you to have a glimpse of whats coming up in life. All
of this will change your thinking from <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Yolo" target="_blank">YOLO</a> to </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><a href="http://www.inspiredwomen.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/drunk_1471791c.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.inspiredwomen.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/drunk_1471791c.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">
To a certain degree this happened to me in highschool. I was dealing
with some pretty horrific issues at home, and I sought out school as
relief from pain. As I got older I noticed that my group of friends were
more into talking about who was losing their virginity, or getting
drunk on the weekend, or who was saying what about someone else. It was
tiresome keeping up with who was apparently barred from our social group
and who wasn't as it changed so often! And because I was extremely
invested in getting into a specific career, whereby I had to make high
grades and get into a particular college that was 500km away and not the
local university everyone else was going to, I ended up spending a lot
of my time in the library either crying in a corner over my home
situation while trying to smother the pain with a novel or just plain
studying. Im sure this absence and increasing standoffishness was
noticed by the group and I definitely contributed to the move of being
pushed out of that social group. I may have consented to that happening
but it still felt like a hurtful low blow especially the gossip that I
had to endure. It was an incredibly lonely time for me. I would not have
coped with that period if it weren't for my then older boyfriend
encouraging me on in my studies, my adult friends from church who prayed
for me, my grandmother who knew my situation and was an ever present
and gracious shoulder for me to lean on and my relationship with Jesus.
Yeah I was walking through the valley but I knew he was right there with
me. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://www.cesi.hr/px/article/_s/services-counselling%7E3.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.cesi.hr/px/article/_s/services-counselling~3.jpg" height="177" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">-
Seek professional counseling/support if needed, preferably Christian.
One of the biggest interventions in my life was in highschool and
finding the courage to meet with a school counsellor. I was at a point
where I frequently got funny looks from my peers and teachers from my
close calls with falling apart. Occasionally I would just burst into
tears for no reason. Or anger or just emotion. I remember a being in a
class where domestic abuse was being discussed and a female classmate
said the most irate, insensitive, ignorant and unintentionally cruel
comment and given my home situation I knew she was completely wrong and I
just flipped out and screamed at her. Knowing what she said was out of
ignorance, and seeing my own response to a naive school girl's ignorance
showed me that I needed help. I met with the school counselor and to my
great joy I discovered that she was a Christian woman who deeply loved
God and became a school counselor as her ministry calling. The list is
too long with how that woman not only quietly discipled me but also
taught me that I wasn't going crazy, there was a rhyme and a reason to
what was happening and it wasn't in my head. She legitimized and helped
me identify my pain and helped me see what I could do about it and who
else I could bring into help. Another book I highly recommend to others
is one that she gifted me and helped me see that I wasn't trapped, that I
did have a choice about what was happening to me. And because of that
book I was able to pray and dramatically and bravely overcome a near
assault by my step father at the time from which he never physically
touched me again. That book was 'Boundaries' by Dr. Cloud &
Townsend. I have no idea what happened to that counselor, I can't even
remember her name but I know she and her giftings and resources were a
gift from God. nb - She also eventually helped me move out when the
timing became right and appropriate and she supported me by telling me
my spiritual and legal rights and govt supports that I was entitled to. </span></span>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8860622353435321835.post-60271931272741355792015-07-18T12:06:00.002-07:002015-07-18T12:06:49.409-07:00Water - Where does yours come from?<a href="http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-MR914_0223nz_H_20110223100927.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-MR914_0223nz_H_20110223100927.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember where I was
during the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Christchurch_earthquake" target="_blank">Christchurch Earthquake</a>.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I remember I had just sat down to my
computer at my Mum's house with a cup of tea in my hand when I heard
what sounded like a freight train coming through our house then seconds
later being thrown by an unseen force off my chair (spilling my cup of
tea of course) then feeling as if someone grabbed my stomach and my body
and moved it across the room and back again. It was probably the most
terrifying and surreal 20 seconds of my life. In all honesty I felt as
if the earthquake lasted minutes not a mere 20 seconds but in hindsight,
20 seconds is a long time for an earthquake. Its amazing how the body
responds in those moments, I instinctively crawled to the my bedroom
door and pulled myself up amidst the violent shaking and brace myself
against the door frame. In that door frame I actually felt safer than
under my desk which was next to a huge glass window</span>. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From
my position I could see things and hear things falling and smashing. As
silly as it sounds I remember looking in horror as the glass orb
lampshade in the hallway - a lampshade my mother loved, waved around in
the tossing then finally fell and smashed to smithereens and I thought
stupidly, "Oh gosh shes going to be so disappointed to lose that orb.." </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So
many things happened in the wake of that event that still leave me and
every other Cantabrian who experienced it shook up and I don't think any
of us will go back to the way we were before.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Within
days of the event, all the neighborhoods got given the most basic of
necessities - Water. Many of us on the East side (and some on the West
side) lost our electricity and plumbing for two weeks. When you lose
electricity and plumbing, your life becomes suddenly so focused on one
thing - get water. I think so many of us took it for granted. Water
became the focus of our lives. We needed it for toileting, washing, and
cooking. And our lives revolved around how to keep those three uses
separate for our own healths sake. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Personally
I had spent the last 4 years coming close to the brink of a nervous
breakdown over my education, my future, my plans. Enduring those two
weeks and the weeks that followed somehow very suddenly simplified my
life and my school issues and school related stress suddenly became
obsolete: </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Walk the couple of blocks to get water with giant empty containers.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fill up said containers from the water tanker provided</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scratch head as one wonders how to carry giant heavy water laden containers home</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Put wide hips to use as containers are carried home </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Make breakfast for fiance and Mum on the gas bbq (we thankfully had!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Heat water in a pot on the bbq</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Carefully wash any dirty dishes with as little water as possible</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Walk to the beach nearby, jump in surf and wash off sweat from body and wash hair with some shampoo I took along.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Discover 3 days later that
because of the earthquake, human excrement from the sewage plant got
into our local beach waters. Doh. I couldn't even enjoy the ocean after
that.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next day, wash in beach and avoid water in eyes or mouth.. No reported sightings of poo. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spend rest of day reading, listening to radio, using up water supply and digging a toilet in our back yard.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Go to bed at sun down.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Repeat process.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What on earth am I getting at here?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Jesus day (and still in
many places around the world today) peoples lives revolved around water.
For us Westerners, the presence of water is still around us but more
subtle - our morning hot shower (water), our wake up coffee/tea (water),
the fruit smoothie we drink after the gym (sort of water), the food we
cook for dinner (most likely using water), the hot chocolate we give our
kids before bed - water water water. Because of my 2 week
post-earthquake experience I feel I now have a tiny understanding of how
precious it is and how hard we need to work for it on a daily basis.
Take away water at the most basic level and watch peoples lives and
hearts disintegrate. I recently watched a reenactment of Mel Gibson's
'Mad Max' at the movies, and while there were many components of the
movie that were stupid and a bit too gross for my tastes there was a
common theme that I found interesting in that it affected all the
characters, the need and control of water.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If the director was trying to portray the epitome of an abusive and evil leadership, I thought they did a good job (watch video <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e0tJ1k6u9s" target="_blank">here</a>).
I spent the entire movie disgusted by the appearance and behaviour of
the pale fat Darth Vader guy. Perhaps his outside was representative in
his inside as well. Because he owned the water, the people depended on
him to survive and unfortunately that likely led to worship and cult
leadership and practices. I was disturbed by his statement of "Do not
depend on water, for you will resent its absence." After cruelly pouring
out momentarily a huge waterfall of fresh water to people who not only
look thirsty but miserable yet hopeful as well. We all know his
statement is ridiculous. We NEED water. For life to survive, any life,
we need water.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus
knew this. That's why he called himself "Living Water" (John 4:10).
Thats either a true or a dangerously arrogant statement to make, placing
oneself in the same necessary category as fresh water. He was saying
that human existence needed him to thrive. Thats why the religious Jew's
tried to stone/arrest him numerous times, because to them it was a
statement of his equality with God. To them it was blasphemy. Jesus also
declared that he was there at the creation of the world and he was
there during the time of Abraham and Moses. Hes saying he invented the
water. When asked by one who he was and what authority he had, he said
"I Am." (John 8:57-59) If you're not familiar with the Old Testament, he
was pretty much saying that it was he in the burning bush, he that led
them through the wilderness through Moses, he that provided food and
water to the Israelities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.magxone.com/uploads/2012/02/Selena-Gomez-Cosmopolitan-US-1-752x1024.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.magxone.com/uploads/2012/02/Selena-Gomez-Cosmopolitan-US-1-752x1024.jpg" height="200" width="146" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To
many people (and still today), these statements offend greatly. I feel
we're now in an age that reflects early Roman times where multiple gods
are celebrated and worshiped in supposed "freedom" and those who
disagree and point to one man from Galilee are crushed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://hugitforward.org/wp-content/uploads/O-Magazine-HIF-Cover-847x1024.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://hugitforward.org/wp-content/uploads/O-Magazine-HIF-Cover-847x1024.jpg" height="200" width="165" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For
me personally Ive seen and tasted the other side, the side where I am
constantly thirsty and I have no comprehension of Christ's achievement. I
run after this and that and Im not safisfied. I know this is true for
others because the magazine rack at the checkout lane supports this.
Since the invention of the Women's mag (and more lately Men's mags) and
the conglomerate giant that is Oprah (and her other cohorts), I see
there is a constant drive to sell what will work in peoples lives and
give them meaning. And they always sell because why else are advertising
willing to spend billions on ads in those pages or our tv screens? And I
know they have never found what they claim, for if they had they would
state it in one edition and would be the only magazine on the rack. I
see constant slogans of "Better sex!" "Better money!" "Better
contentment, peace, joy, compassion" etc etc. As US the band says "And I
still haven't found... What Im looking for." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the other hand, the bible I
read has not changed since it was put together and has forever stayed
on the best seller list. Perhaps thats why people hate it. Same old,
same old they say. What if same old works? What if "Same old" tells me
its not about what I in my imperfect flawed self cannot do but what
someone else has perfectly done on my behalf?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_640x430/public/toilet_flushing_5.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_640x430/public/toilet_flushing_5.jpg" height="215" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
bible says those who don't know Christ are building broken cisterns and
then drinking from it (Jeremiah 2:13). In other words they're drinking
from something like a toilet. Quite often Im told as a Christian that
someone would respect me a whole lot more if only I would shut up about
Jesus and the bible. To me (and hopefully every other Christian out
there), thats like standing back while someone says "Leave me alone! I
consent to and desire to drink from this toilet in my own freedom!" Some
freedom. Would a parent do that with their child? Do we even let our
pets drink from the toilet? Eww no.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You
might not like it but I know that the people who care about you are the
ones that don't shut up about Jesus, the ones who offend you are the
ones who care about you. The ones that shut up and keep quiet - they are
the hypocrites. You might not think so but I think Jesus will. Another
example is seeing someone walk in a desert and you just happen to have
keys to an icy cold cooler full of fresh water. You'd be a big prat if
you didn't share it. Thats just how we see it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you thirsty for? What
water are you drinking? Is it working? At the end of your life will you
think to yourself, that (insert thing here) was so worth it. Im so glad
I dedicated my time, wallet and learning it. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Paul in his letter to the Phillippian Church (3:8) said - "</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of
knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of
all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ</span><span class="p">."</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://readingchaplaincy.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/woman-at-the-well-part-21.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://readingchaplaincy.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/woman-at-the-well-part-21.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus
came off as extremely offensive when he referred to himself as living
water (among other things) and they killed him for it. As a Christian, I
am reconciling myself to the fact that no matter how nicely or
respectfully I speak my faith I will offend people and they will want to
hurt me for it. Thats fine. Let me just say, its worth it.</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When one witnesses a person switching from toilet water to pure water, just the look on their face is worth it. </span>Melodyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15807986542645550142noreply@blogger.com0